Grief is a normal response to loss and change. It comes with sadness, sorrow and an inner ache that can be felt with our whole being. Crying is normal and common behavior when grieving, and it can also look very different. While grief is not a comfortable feeling to have, it shows us that […]
concerning integration
Personality in Motion
When trauma has become chronic and our stress responses become the mode of normal functioning in the world, we will notice an impact on our personality. The way we see ourselves and the world and how we act within the world are guided by defensive actions. We might develop patterns of behavior that are based […]
Allowing each other to change
In DID therapy, we want parts to change. We want them to be more oriented, to gain new knowledge about the world today and we want them to learn how to live and act in this new world. Old behaviors that belong to TraumaTime are not useful anymore and get in the way of […]
Becoming more Natural (advanced)
There is a curious thing that happens when we have been in trauma therapy for a long time. We get good at it. After years of constantly working on ourselves, we built solid habits around the things we need for symptom management, self-regulation and trauma processing. We probably developed a habit of constantly tracking our […]
Phobic Avoidance and Integrative Capacity
Professional literature about DID lists a number of ‘phobias’ that classically appear in DID therapy and that patients have to overcome. The phobias that are usually listed are the phobia of attachment and attachment loss (both, but showing in opposite parts) thought/feelings/memories/wishes associated with trauma other dissociative parts traumatic memory change and healthy risk-taking […]
Resolving complex situations with DID parts
Sometimes we run into problems that are more complex than a flashback. It needs more than simple Grounding or separating past from present. Several parts are activated at the same time and they are influencing each other in a way that maintains the problem. We have to actively intervene. I will explain 3 different versions […]
Relational vs Integrative Approaches for inner Work
[CN: this post is very much pro Integrated Functioning and can cause difficult emotions in people who insist in seeing DID as ‘many people in one body’] There are 2 main ways to approach inner work with dissociative parts. One is based on building relationships between parts, the other is based on resolving the […]
In the Mirror of Ourselves (advanced)
[CN: We talk about patterns of neglect and injuries from not getting the help we deserved. The target audience are people who experienced torture and those who try to help them. It is painful to read when this has been your life experience. It might also trigger shame in those who tend to blame themselves […]
Integrating abuser-loyal Parts
Abuser-loyal parts often feel closely attached to abusers and hold warm feelings for them like love, gratefulness, awe etc. In the past, that was a helpful survival strategy because it has an appeasing effect. The efforts to please these people granted us more safety. We also split up the inner picture of abusive people in […]
Integrative Actions in Trauma Processing for DID
The concept behind trauma processing is usually to bring up the traumatic memory in a controlled setting, use an intervention to break up the fixed way in which it got stuck and then support the brain in re-organizing the memory in a new and more connected/integrated way. That is why you will find the term […]
Integrating our Body in Trauma Therapy
Trauma creates a disconnection from our body. Sometimes it shows in numbness for physical sensations and needs. We don’t feel hunger, cold or pain. It makes taking care of ourselves difficult and we might neglect our body. A lot of trauma survivors think of the body as their enemy. Something that needs to be avoided […]
In the Mirror of the Other (advanced)
Our own integration starts in the thinking mind of our therapist I wrote that almost exactly 3 years ago when talking about the therapeutic relationship. As I move into later phases of therapy it seems to me that this is one of the most profound things I have ever said. So please forgive […]