What is this? Some would insist it is a vase. Others would swear it is two faces. Neither of them is right. It is both a vase and two faces. It needs the existence of the vase to get two faces. It needs the faces to make a vase. Yet it is […]
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Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are thoughts that suddenly appear in our head and that we perceive as stressful and beyond our control. The content is often shameful or mean and there is a certain tone to them. Such thoughts can be very distressing, especially if they are never actually quiet. And thoughts are not as easy to […]
Avoiding the inner Tug of War
Once we are aware that we go through different stress responses and that parts feel most comfortable in states that match their action systems we can use that knowledge to examine inner dynamics that cause us trouble. We might be drifting apart in response to the external situation we are in. The result is a […]
Extended Summer Break
This year, we are taking a longer summer break to finish working on our book manuscript. Thank you for your patience. Sign up for our Newsletter to receive a message as soon as there are new posts available. The form is at the very bottom of the page. […]
Separating inside and outside reality
One of the tricky problems with complex trauma is that our healthy separation between inside reality and outside reality is under-developed. We struggle with both sudden overwhelm from outside events and a tendency to take our inner experience as a literal reflection of outside reality. Separating ourselves from outside events You might know […]
Learning how to Reflect about Reality
In our quest to make sense of ourselves and the world we will spend quite some time reflecting about experiences. We already shared how to reflect on inner experiences. Now we will look at how to make sense of the world around us. Constructivism We all know only fragments of all the things there […]
Learning how to Reflect about the Inner Experience
Those of you who have read books on DID treatment have seen the phrase ‘the phobia of the inner experience’ and noticed that the reflection about this experience is a basic skill for all inner work. But scientists always forget to explain what the Inner Experience is supposed to be. How would we know? Nobody […]
Non-Sleep-Deep-Rest (chained relaxation exercise)
When we are dealing with cPTSD and chronic dysregulation, relaxation is not a beginner’s exercise. It is important to learn Orientation & Grounding first and reduce chronic dysregulation. Trying to relax while being in a stress response will have negative effects. When we are in fight/flight and we try to hold still, the tension will […]
Alternative versions of body scans
A body scan is a mindfulness exercise in which we are instructed to become aware of different body parts in a set order. It is a standard exercise in PTSD treatment because it helps many people to feel more grounded in the present and it increases stability and the ability to self-regulate. People with cPTSD […]
Befriending dissociated parts: First Steps
Some people with DID grow up thinking that having Others inside is normal because they always had a way to communicate with each other. But a lot of people are surprised by their diagnosis. They didn’t suspect anything and they don’t have any idea how to make first contact. There might be awareness of blackouts […]
Signposting for the Day (morning exercise)
This exercise is typically used when our days are chaotic because some parts are not aware of the plans others have made and we accidentally work against each other. We miss appointments, do things twice or forget them altogether, we might be chronically late or irrationally worried about being late etc. It is also a […]
Untangling mixed experiences (using percentages)
We will sometimes experience situations where we can’t figure out how to regulate ourselves or how to solve a problem and just using more Orientation and Grounding is not doing the trick. The experience isn’t happening only in the present, only for us as a part or only within our person. Things got mixed up. […]
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