Being made a victim changes people. A victim is someone who is forced into a powerless position while someone else crosses their boundaries and demonstrates power over them. That is like a hammer blow on our soul. It gets a dent. If it repeats the soul starts to change its shape and bend, a pattern […]
english
Reflections of a former hoarder
This post is more personal than what we usually write. We couldn’t find any „therapy“ tools for hoarding. All we have is our own experience. This is our story: I grew up in a hoarder household. For many years it looked like I would become a hoarder too. When I started to heal things […]
Self-care
Many people confuse self-care with acts of self-love. Self-care is not about being „kind“ to yourself. It is about doing the most basic things to keep your body healthy and going. It is a necessity. If you want to be healthy you need to take care of yourself. If you struggle with self-love you can […]
Why DBT Skills don’t work
DBT is a decent therapy for borderline personality disorder and it can teach us a lot about regulation. It is also not meant to be used for trauma or dissociative disorders. That is why we will run into problems, when we try to use DBT skills here. The concept of dissociation in DBT is one […]
The Light of Truth (advanced guided imagery)
This is not the classic light imagery. Today we will work with colored light that does not enter the body. This specific exercise helps to reduce transference, but as you will see the basic idea offers almost endless possibilities. Feel free to develop your own version of this and adapt it to your needs. Please […]
Good for nothing
„I am good for nothing“ Many trauma survivors experience this thought one way or another. In most cases this is a limiting belief. If you tried you could find proof that there is at least something you do that is ok. There is one situation when this is true. And that is when you are […]
Understanding chronic shame
Chronic shame seems to accompany trauma. It is even part of the criteria for cPTSD. We have not found a miracle solution since we last wrote about shame in the compass of shame. But maybe this will add more understanding. Shame is not a “bad” feeling. There is a healthy version of it that helps […]
Healing Light (guided imagery)
The following is our version of the basic light exercise. It can help you regulate your thoughts and feelings, decrease sensory memory (body flashbacks) and help you to relax and get grounded. Working with a cleansing light is especially helpful when imagery of water is a problem for you. Please find a comfortable […]
Gauge your inner Life
The three main concepts we need for self-regulation are gauges, regulators and containers. As staying within the window of tolerance is one of our main goals (the other two are „being in the present“ and „being connected“) we need something that helps us to figure out where we are at. We need some kind of […]
SkillKit to go
We have talked about the window of tolerance, how you can use Skills to stop dissociation and self-harm using both body and mind, how to use Skills to stay within your window of tolerance through relational regulation, distraction, containment, imagery and mindfulness. We also explained how to chain Skills to make them the most effective. […]
Rhythm and Routines
Nature moves at the sound of a silent melody. It is full of rhythm. Day and night. The moon, ever increasing and decreasing. The tides that come and go. Autumn following summer, every year. Blossoms, fruit and new seeds for blossoms. Humans are part of nature and we carry our own rhythm with us. Breathing […]
Managing Menstruation (Life Skills)
If you are male-bodied this will not be of any use for you. Feel free to keep reading though, if you are interested in PTSD-related struggles with female menstruation. If you have a female body and this is concerning you, please make sure that you are properly grounded before reading. This post contains mention of […]
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