Some days are just hard. You feel weak, exhausted, mere discipline doesn’t work and you start to feel overwhelmed when thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done. This will just make you feel weaker, more stressed and you will do even less. Time for the 3-minute Challenge. The goal is to get […]
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The BASK-Safe (advanced containment)
Especially when you are in the middle of trauma work you might experience that your common containment safe or whatever imagery you use for containment might not work as long as you would like it to or small pieces escape your safe. That is when we use a “BASK”-safe to lock things away for good. The […]
How to work with Skill-Lists
Lists with Skills are awesome and inspiring. But you need to work with them to shape them into a tool you can use. This post will help you organize your Skills so that they are ready when you need them. When it comes to Skills I want to give you biblical advice: “Test them all; […]
Skills for Yellow area (6/7): Distraction
This post is based on The window of tolerance Because our main goal is to stay within the window of tolerance, we need to learn how to regulate ourselves within the yellow area. We distinguish between self-regulation and relational regulation. Most people favor one or the other, but it is important to be able to use […]
DID-adapted behavior chain analysis (system-harming behavior)
If you struggle with self-harm and dissociation and you have had DBT you will have worked with a behavior chain analysis. (If you struggle with self-harm and dissociation and you did not have DBT we highly recommend doing it.) We love the behavior chain analysis, but there are limits. Sometimes other parts commit the self-harm, […]
The Path of Forgiveness
As a christian I am concerned about the way some christians, but also some therapists, push trauma survivors to forgive. Yet I believe that forgiveness is important. While I believe that forgiveness is a choice, this is too simple . It is tempting just to speak the words and then keep avoiding the inner experience. […]
It’s magic: chase away nightmares
Imagination is a powerful tool. It’s like magic. You can learn how to use it to create peace and calm in your every-day life. We have nightmares. Even looking at the bed and imagining sleep causes stress, despair and terror. Littles refuse to sleep. Sometimes we wake up from a nightmare and there is no […]
overcoming your death wish (bucket list)
Some days it can get hard to remember why you should be on this earth. We have tried all kinds of things to get away from suicidal thoughts. Believing God would shut us out of heaven. Thinking of family and friends and how hurt they would be. Imagining how painful dying would be. You name […]
Skills for green area (prevention of dissociation)
This post is based on The one most important concept you NEED to know to stop dissociation: window of tolerance To avoid dissociation we are trying to regulate ourselves within the yellow and green area. Strictly speaking, skills for the green area are not “skills” as we know them. They qualify as “prevention” but I want […]
Planning for anniversary reaction (difficult days)
You might have noticed, that there are certain times of the year that always cause you to struggle. For many survivors those are christian holidays birthdays pagan holidays anniversaries of trauma … This is called “anniversary reaction“. PTSD symptoms usually spike during these times, flashbacks, body flashbacks, depression and anxiety are common. The positive thing […]
Safety Plan (suicidal)
When struggling with suicidal thoughts, it is helpful to have a plan you can follow to keep yourself safe. This plan should be made in advance. Thinking isn’t very clear during a crisis and you won’t be able to come up with a good plan. This is a rough outline so you can write […]
Containment (imagery)
Because our main goal is to stay within the window of tolerance, we need to learn how to regulate ourselves within the yellow area. We distinguish between self-regulation and relational regulation. Most people favor one or the other, but it is important to be able to use both in order to react appropriately in different […]