So, you are not a beginner anymore when it comes to relaxation exercises and you’ve been working on your sleep for years.
You have tried
- yoga,
- stretching,
- journaling,
- white noise,
- changing the white noise
- binaural beats,
- soundscapes,
- guided imagery,
- with and without inner helpers,
- micro imagery,
- mindfulness,
- listening,
- breathing exercises,
- passively watching the breath,
- weighted blankets,
- cocooning,
- a mantra
- and one word mantra,
- aromatherapy to condition a smell-sleep connection,
- pillow sprays
- sleeping upright
- special pillows
- special blankets
- a fan
- evening routines,
- regular sleep times
- no caffeine ever again
- night light,
- pulsing light,
- projected light
- micro movements,
- micro tactile stimulation,
- melatonin,
- sleep medication,
- valerian
- herbs and hops
- hot baths,
- lavender in all shapes and forms
- paradox interventions (which you shouldn’t try for complex trauma),
- progressive muscle relaxation,
- autogenic training,
- window open
- window closed
- sleep stories,
- sleep hypnosis,
- ASMR,
- reading boring non-fiction,
- warm drink before bed
- a sleep kit
- telling everyone inside goodnight and tuck them in
- …
and you still can’t relax your body and mind enough to sleep, this exercise might be for you:
You have tried it all. You have done everything that can be done and doing more would be doing too much. It is time to let other things do something for you.
In this exercise all the things around you will take over and do all the work for you.
As you lay down, notice how the mattress is pushing you up. And how the bed is pushing the mattress up. And how the floor is pushing the bed up. And how the earth underneath the house is pushing the floor up. So that the whole power of the planet earth is pushing to hold up the full weight of your body. As you lay there, you can feel all the power and as you sink into it, it holds your weight up even more. You don’t have to ground yourself. The full weight of the whole planet is pushing against you to ground you.
And then you can notice the space all around you, how it is filled with fresh air, and your body that is breathing itself. The air moves itself in through your nostrils and out again. There is nothing left for you to do. it does it all by itself. The air makes sure to breathe itself and you can let go of all the effort and allow it to work for you. There is so much air, all around you and it is all breathing for you.
Now you might notice the blanket and how it draped itself over your body. It is gently covering you on all sides. It is warming you with kind intentions and making sure you are all covered and comfortable. Sense how it is keeping watch and protecting you all night so that your sleep will be peaceful and calm. It spreads out wide to cover all of you in its protection and care. Your blanket is there for you all night with its gentle presence.
Continue with the sensory input that usually helps and imagine a story of how it is helping you. Maybe there is a night light or a soundscape or a familiar smell. Each one becomes an entity that is actively doing something that makes you feel safe, supported and like something else is taking all the work from you that relaxation usually comes with. There is nothing left for you do it, it is all being done for you by the things that surround you. You don’t relax, you let them relax you. No effort required. No trying to sleep. Sleep is coming to visit you and switches off all your conscious thoughts. Sleep is already all around you and ready to take over from you.
This is a weird exercise. It is also almost ridiculous how effective it is for people who are used to working hard on everything in their recovery and especially relaxation. We need to stop trying and allow something else to manage it for us. Surprisingly, it does not feel like a loss of control. We just allow helpful things help us a little bit.