The tricky thing about flashbacks that are purely emotional is recognizing them for what they are. We are stuck in an emotional experience from the past. Yet the nature of the trigger would often justify that kind of emotion, just not the level of intensity and the duration. Over time we can learn to […]
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Reasons for Shame
Shame has been a major issue in my own life ever since I can remember and it is a problem characteristic to complex trauma and DID in general. That is why I have written more about shame than about any other emotion. In my struggle with shame it has become important to take a […]
Re-organizing yourself for a new season (guided imagery)
In this guided imagery we will be on a journey and find a place to rest. We can take a look back, re-organize the bundle we carry, and maybe receive a gift to help us during the next part of our journey. This exercise is especially helpful in times of change. Maybe we finished a […]
Book Review: ‘Me, Not-Me, and We’ by Emma Sunshaw
Me, Not-Me, and We: A lived experience workbook for phased recovery from complex and relational trauma with dissociative identity response by Emma Sunshaw Written by: A member of the ISSTD who found out about their DID later in life, so this is a mix of up-to-date professional information and lived experience Written for: […]
Cornerstones of the therapeutic relationship
Dr. Karen Treisman writes about the therapeutic relationship: The relationships are the glue and the magic that make the strategies meaningful, purposeful, and therapeutic. This is in line with the sayings ‘Relational trauma requires relational repair’ and ‘Relational repair requires safe hands, thinking minds, and regulated bodies’. Without the relationship to anchor to, the […]
The Problem with the Faux Window of Tolerance
We all know the model of the Window of Tolerance. There is an area of relaxed regulation, the polyvagal theory would call it the safe&social system or ventral vagal activation and we traditionally mark it in green. We can handle a bit of activation (yellow) without getting into a difficult situation. When stress gets […]
Group exercise for encouragement
This is a small but very powerful exercise you can do in a ‘group’ setting, like a self-help group and within a DID system. Start with one person or part and ask: What is something you really need to hear right now? It could be any kind of encouragement. Some need to hear […]
Emotion surfing for cPTSD
One of the more trendy tools for emotional regulation right now is called emotion surfing. We can imagine emotions like waves. They start, build up intensity, reach a peak and then they go down again. Maybe we experience only one wave, maybe there will be more. But they will all go down again and the […]
But words will never hurt me
Language is fascinating. It is enough to hear one word to bring up a complex experience within us. When I say ‘beach’ it creates inner pictures of the beach. There might be a yearning or a sense of joy or other emotions. Maybe you remember being at the beach. Your body might relax a tiny […]
The circles of suffering
The circles of suffering are an ACT exercise that can help us to realize the costs of avoidance of difficult topics in our life. We start with the main issue we avoid and then analyze the suffering that happens on top of it. That way we might get convinced that overcoming the avoidance and tackling […]
Integrating sexual parts
This post talks about childhood sexual abuse and sexuality and it’s potentially triggering. Take care of your own well-being and stop reading when you notice signs of dissociation or flashbacks. It is hard to talk about sexual parts without offending anyone. I will share with you an integrative approach and I need you […]
Dealing with mistakes and failure (perfectionism)
Growing up in a trauma family often means learning that mistakes are not tolerated. Caregivers might have expected us to do things right every time, even if it is the first time we try. We found our own strategies to cope with this toxic atmosphere by hiding ourselves and our mistakes or by trying […]
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