Trance logic describes logical glitches that can exist when people get hypnotized and enter a trance state. In that state of mind we can accept statements as true even though they deeply contradict each other. We simply don’t notice that they can’t possibly be true at the same time. Nothing is questioned or reality-checked, it […]
mindset & thoughts
Changing trauma-related thoughts and beliefs
Part of trauma therapy is to address unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. They keep us stuck in painful emotions or disrupt our relationships with ourselves or others. What we believe shows in how we live and what choices we make. Often there cannot be change unless we change the way we think. Standard approach In […]
Elements of Integration 4: Presentification
Presentification is an integrative mental action where we connect our experiences with their specific time in our life. There is a realisation, that the past is past, that we are currently in the Now and that there is a future ahead of us. Life events can get sorted into their place on a timeline and […]
The Good Enough Host
Being the host of a system is a difficult job. It is not difficult in the same way carrying the trauma memory is, but in its own way. Between managing daily life, the system, therapy and ourselves it is easy to feel inadequate and just never good enough. And it is true that we […]
The Logic of Survival – Understanding Coping Behavior
Traumatized people usually show behavior that is outside the norm in at least some areas of life. These coping behaviors often get stigmatized as mental illness and dysfunction. But once we understand how a child survives unsafe situations we realize that these behaviors are strictly logical. They can be understood and they make sense. They […]
Denial and Doubt in Dissociative Disorders
Denial and self-doubt is such a common problem in dissociative disorders that some argue it should be part of the diagnostic criteria. The definitions of denial include the refusal to admit the truth or reality of something or a refusal to recognize or acknowledge; a disowning or disavowal Psychology has its own definition of denial […]
Radical Openness in Trauma Therapy
Virtues come in opposing pairs that balance each other (see the v-square). Most of us are familiar with Radical Acceptance. The lesser known counter-part to that is Radical Openness. Radical acceptance is used to reduce suffering caused by rejecting things we can’t change. Radical Openness helps us to change, when we have accepted something that […]
Balancing in Therapy
In nature, balance is never static. It is achieved by constantly re-adjusting and adapting to changing influences. It never stops, there is no time when a perfect balance exists for long. Balance is really a verb, not a noun. It is natural that all our therapy work is happening with ups and down, constantly shifting, […]
Understanding thoughts ‘bottom up’
There is a feedback-loop between our thoughts, emotions and body. A picture you will often see to describe it is this It is the foundation of CBT interventions. We change the thought, that will change our emotion and physical state. It is called top-down approach and it works well with many psychological problems but its […]
Growing love
We have looked into the characteristics of a powerful person as a key to healing from the effects of relational trauma and a victim mentality. Learning self-control by using our free choice, boundaries and assertiveness leads to healthy relationships. We are managing our own freedom while allowing others to be free as well. It creates […]
Powerful people – powerful relationships
All people are powerful. But some don’t know it yet. Or they confuse being powerful with being controlling or intimidating. At the core of being a powerful person is self-control: the ability to make choices and follow through with them, to regulate our own emotions and needs and take responsibility for our own life. Self-control […]
Gamify your challenges (difficult days)
“In every job that must be done There is an element of fun You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game And every task you undertake Becomes a piece of cake A lark! A spree! It’s very clear to see that A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Mary Poppins […]