Putting goals into words helps to achieve them. But if they are vague you are not giving yourself enough information and detail to guide yourself toward that goal. We recommend making SMART goals. Specific/simple/sensible/significant: What do you want to achieve, and what does that look like, in detail, in specific situations, in specific behaviors […]
mindset & thoughts
The value of values
A concept we grew up with is the purpose train. We often get caught up in strategies and tactics in our life, making goals, achieving things. Those work best when we actually have a vision to go before them. But it turns out that a “vision board” is not enough either. The energy that moves […]
Balance: the v-square
To increase inner balance we are using a theoretical concept described by a german psychologist named Paul Helwig and expanded by F. Schulz von Thun. The concept is called „Wertequadrat“ which literally translates as „square of virtues“ which makes it a wrong translation (it has nothing to do with freemasons and we are aware that […]
Bent, not bad
Being made a victim changes people. A victim is someone who is forced into a powerless position while someone else crosses their boundaries and demonstrates power over them. That is like a hammer blow on our soul. It gets a dent. If it repeats the soul starts to change its shape and bend, a pattern […]
Happen! (core values)
Are you sick and tired of feeling helpless and having things happen to you? Many trauma survivors find themselves in this position over and over again. They feel trapped in a cycle of falling for new abusive people, experiencing personal disasters and being knocked down by life over and over again. It’s enough to make […]
Creator of your Life
The Bible tells us that mankind was made in the image of their Creator. What does that mean? I believe that we were designed to be creators too. Creators of our own life. I am pretty sure that our modern standard life of going to school, working 9-5, marriage, kids, a house and a dog […]
Unpunishable (core values)
One of the reasons for our great success with system work are the core values and beliefs it is based on. We believe that control over other people is a myth. You can try to force people, try to manipulate them, but in the end they always have a free choice, if they want to […]
The Path of Forgiveness
As a christian I am concerned about the way some christians, but also some therapists, push trauma survivors to forgive. Yet I believe that forgiveness is important. While I believe that forgiveness is a choice, this is too simple . It is tempting just to speak the words and then keep avoiding the inner experience. […]
overcoming your death wish (bucket list)
Some days it can get hard to remember why you should be on this earth. We have tried all kinds of things to get away from suicidal thoughts. Believing God would shut us out of heaven. Thinking of family and friends and how hurt they would be. Imagining how painful dying would be. You name […]