On the hunt for the elusive ‘felt sense of safety’ we might notice that we can only feel safe within the space we are actually in. Our consciousness is a wanderer. It wanders through
- thoughts
- emotions
- the body
- memories
- the space we are in
- an inner world
When it is in one place, we leave other places behind, partially or completely. The self does not exist there while we are somewhere else.
We can only feel safe in places where we are. Not in those our consciousness is leaving behind.
When you sense bad feelings, ask yourself: Where has my consciousness been? Where am I now and what would be a safe place to be in with my consciousness?
There is no one-size-fits-all-situations answer.
It really depends on external safety, if we have pain in our body, if there are positive memories at all. Being lost in thought might offer the greatest place of calm at times.
For most people who have external safety in their life, being present in the room is the surest way to find a felt sense of safety. We just tend to be everywhere else and avoid that room because spaces of the past have not been safe to be in.
Our consciousness connects to the room through our senses. Which makes it hard to be in a room without also somewhat being in the body.
This brings us back to the oldest trauma tool of them all: Grounding.
Maybe it helps to see grounding through the lens of being somewhere with our consciousness. Because we can only feel the safety of a place when we are actually there.