Recently we had to say goodbye to a T. Someone we trusted enough to speak freely. Someone we allowed to see the things going on in the system. Someone in whose company we didn’t feel ashamed. There is no way to describe the extend of a loss like this. The whole system suffers. Some feel […]
Self-regulation
Overcoming helplessness: exercise your free will
The biblical word “repent” actually doesn’t mean to say you are sorry. It literally means “change the way you think”. It’s a transformation that goes deeper than mere words. Traumatized people often learned that they don’t have a choice. They felt helpless and they continue to feel helpless. But today offers choices. You are […]
Some Skills for Hyper/Hypoarousal: the mind
When we are feeling “too much” (red/ 10-8 / hyperarousal) or “not enough” (blue/ 3-1/ hypoarousal) we need to get “out” of the feeling and either into the body or into the mind. To get “into the mind” we use either mindfulness or what I’m going to call “mental gymnastics”. Some people prefer using “body”-skills because […]
The window of tolerance
It might come as a surprise, but people don’t work best when they are absolutely calm. Studies have shown that we work, and learn, the best with medium levels of stress/arousal. When there is not enough or too much stress/arousal, performance will suffer. There is a certain “window of tolerance” where we are able […]
Early detection of dissociation without using emotion
To counter dissociation effectively it is necessary to notice it in time, that is: before you are frozen and unable to act. You can train yourself to do that and the easiest way is to be aware of your emotions and stay within the window of tolerance. But what if you are unable […]
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