If we are within our window of tolerance and there is an emotion we are experiencing and there is no need to regulate it down but a curiosity about what is happening to us, that is when we might want to explore. To do that, creative approaches are indispensable. We won’t try to suppress an […]
Self-regulation
Negotiating Emotion
It is normal for traumatized people to avoid the sensation of emotion. TraumaTime taught us that it is too much to handle. Since we are not living in TraumaTime anymore and emotion is a big part of feeling alive and happy, it is time to get in touch with our feelings again. The level of […]
The Polyvagal Ladder
When I first wrote about the polyvagal theory I didn’t expect you to be interested. But there has been an ever increasing demand for more information, so here it is. We are still leaving out most of the neuroscience behind the polyvagal theory to make it easier to work with. People used to think […]
Exercise: influencing emotion
Emotions are involuntary. It means we can’t just choose to feel one emotion instead of another. But we can influence emotions to increase or decrease in intensity and that will make a difference too. The following is an exercise that is incredibly valuable and that you can repeat over time. You will need pen and […]
Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation can be challenging when we get overwhelmed with a feeling and we don’t have a plan how to manage it. I will share with you the systematic approach we are using, in the hope that it will give you some guidance as well. . Before we do anything else We need to regulate […]
Regulating Hyperarousal 2 (Flight Response)
PTSD makes regulating emotions extra hard (more). That is why we will look at ways to deal with different emotions. But first there is one thing we need to take care of and that is hyperarousal (flight/fight response) People differ in their tendencies, some going into fight more regularly, others don’t feel that at all […]
Mindfulness for emotional regulation
Many trauma survivors are annoyed by their therapists persistence in trying to teach them mindfulness. The exercises seem weird and we can’t comprehend how that is supposed to help us with our PTSD. We might not understand it right away, but mindfulness is the key to emotional regulation. As we have explained here, trauma changes […]
Emotions
Humans feel emotions for a reason and it is not to torment us. Our brain is created with different levels. Roughly speaking there is a part that we share with reptilians that holds reflexes and instincts, a part we share with mammals that is responsible for emotions and a part that is limited to humans […]
The problem with emotional regulation
There are a couple of reasons why emotional regulation is so difficult for trauma survivors, especially those with developmental trauma and cPTSD. They are intertwined and sometimes create a fatal cycle of reinforcement. Parenting Some of our struggles are created by inadequate parenting. Children are supposed to learn emotional regulation from their parents and […]
The Rhythm of Regulation
My first encounter with the word resilience was not in psychology but in physics. In a psychological context the term is usually used to describe an inner strength that can prevail under a lot of pressure. So the goal of interventions is to make people more resistant to stress by adding positive resources. You can […]
Keep breathing
We have already looked at some basic breathing exercises. Now let’s take it a little further. “Cologne“ breathing (4711*) You might be heading into a difficult meeting or maybe there are only 2 minutes to relax. Breathe in counting to 4, then slowly breathe out counting to 7. Repeat 11 times. You should feel […]
Overcoming chronic shame
As long as I can remember I struggled with chronic shame. You can find psychological theories that might help in The Compass of Shame and Understanding Chronic Shame. Today I want to share my personal keys and understanding with you. This might not work for everyone, but it has been a revelation for me. […]